Woman Detained at Border for Baffling Silliness

On October 4, PressRepublican.com filed a story about Jerilea Zempel, a resident of northern New York, who was detained by a U.S. Customs and Border Protection official while returning from a trip to Canada. The charge: suspicion of copyright infringement. The cause: this doodle…

Not pictured: Any sense whatsoever

Zempel is an artist, and had been attending the Cultural Capital Festival in Sackville, New Brunswick, where she submitted her idea to cover a Hyundai Santa Fe with a crocheted cozy. That’s what you’re looking at above. That’s an SUV covered in a giant cozy. And in the corner, that’s a note that says, “mirrors = ears,” lest that vital point be forgotten.

The work was intended to be “a statement against America’s dependence on oil and love for big vehicles,” according to the article.

After more than an hour of detention, Zempel was finally released when she was able to prove to the official that she was a professor at Fordham University in New York City, because, apparently, one more non sequitur couldn’t hurt.

The culprit: All dangerous looking...

In the end, it’s hard to say what the most baffling part of this story is: the very idea of covering a car in a crocheted cozy; that the artist would have to draw the above sketch to remember the idea; that the sketch would include “ears” (Human ears? Animal ears? Car ears?); or that the customs official thought the drawing might constitute copyright infringement. Judging by her reaction, one can only assume that the official was carrying this sketch in her back pocket:

Whack-Ass Honorable Mentions:

Man Arrested for Riding Tricycle Drunk

http://www.ktvl.com/news/bjorkquist_1187476___article.html/tricycle_timm.html

“The man stopped quickly when approached and did not prolong the chase, to the disappointment of all.”

“Lion Rides Horse”

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/10/photogalleries/wip-week101/index.html

 Guy 1: “Wait…wait…Dude…follow me here…what if we have the lion ride the horse?”

Guy 2: “I say, Guy 1, that’s the best idea you’ve had since pissing off those octopuses.”

~Kyle Adams

Your Room or Mine?

I look at my clock. It’s 3:45am, and my roommate is kicking me out. “Are you serious?” I say, pretty pissed off, and still a little drunk. “Come on babe, he’s soooo hot!” she begs. I leave the room, without being able to take a good look at the guy. Again, I’ve been sexiled, and with no place to go. “Where is my other roommate?” I say to myself while calling her. Yes, I do talk to myself quite often, and yes, I unfortunately live in a triple.

 

Literally getting shafted…Get it?

She finally answers, after 3 tries. “I’m busy”, is the first thing she says to me, while giggling at the same time. I can hear the guy kissing her neck, or whatever else he was doing. Ewww, take image out of my head! I let her go, since she is “so busy’ at the moment. Now what? Do I just sit in the hallway waiting until my friend is done going to pleasure town? Total bullshit! I begin to call friends, but no one is picking up. They are either probably passed out or are also engaging in the “joy” ride tonight.

I put on my jacket, and luckily find my cigs, so I decide to go down stairs to have a smoke. Yeah I know, they give you cancer, but at this moment I don’t care, I need something to do. As I exit the doors, I see this guy also smoking. “Hey, can I bum your lighter?” I say while jittering because it’s so freaking cold out. He lights my cig and stands up from the chair and gives it to me. Wow, chivalry has not died!

“So, why are YOU up so late?” he asked. Shit! He asked the questions I did not want to answer. I turn red, and say as low as possible, “I’ve been sexiled.” He starts laughing. “Me too,” he says.

This is NOT the kid from the story!

Out of nowhere, he begins to tell me how he prefers to go to the girl’s room. “You feel worst kicking a girl out than just simply leaving after the deed. No strings attached.” He says while blowing out smoke. “What about the girls who end up going to the guy’s room?” I curiously ask. “Some guys like to show off the “trophy” the next morning when the girl leaves the room. Like frat guys, they love to embarrass girls when they walk out of the house the next morning. Then they brag about it.” He admits. At that very moment we begin to hear this girl’s moans getting louder and louder, and of course the spanking sound appears.

After being entertained for a little bit, yeah it didn’t last that long, I bluntly ask him, “So why don’t you do it? I mean, why don’t you bring the girl home if it sounds like something every guy would be or is proud of?” He shakes his head, takes a drag, and looks at me. “Most girls realize by the middle of the night, that what they are doing is wrong, and we sense their change in mood, like regret is starting to kick in. At that very moment, I decide to leave, and it is always easier to leave than to kick someone out. But again every guy is different. I have friends who simply don’t bring girls back to their place because they don’t want to dirty their sheets.”

We sat outside conversing until the sunrise. The truth is, everything else was a blur, but I still remember that last quote, and the moaning of course. Is that how guys really think? They actually treat us like objects for their own entertainment, and we allow it?  Maybe we do the same. Maybe we do it for other reasons, but one thing is for sure we are not innocent, we know what they are really all about, but we just decide to play their game. There is definitely nothing wrong with playing that game. Or is there?

Besos,

Lola